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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28594935">Floral Feelings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rezzieznotzkybound/pseuds/rezzieznotzkybound'>rezzieznotzkybound</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Childhood Friends to Lovers, M/M, bullying tw, kind of angst?, maybe a lot actually</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:01:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,599</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28594935</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rezzieznotzkybound/pseuds/rezzieznotzkybound</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a young boy falls in love before knowing the sacrifices he'd make. When his secret gets out, his whole world changes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Irises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is a repost from my old account,, so-</p><p>hopefully, you'll like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a warm spring day when it happened. The morning was new, and everything was bright. I was young, maybe 9 or 10, and I traveled out of the house. Of course, I wasn’t a very well liked kid, so I hadn’t any friends. In fact, I was quite sure everyone hated me. Until then…</p><p>I met a boy named Tsukishima Kei. He was my age, just very tall. I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I said I was scared of him at first.In the face of those bullies, however, he was my savior. I didn’t learn his name that day, and I don’t even know if he was trying to help me. Actually, I believe he might’ve been insulting me.<br/>
His words were, “Haha, lame.” He acted very high and mighty, and that got those people away from me. Apparently he didn’t have any interest in the situation, and he left. I didn’t see him again until I joined a local youth volleyball team. </p><p>Since that day, we’ve been the closest of friends. He’s the only friend I ever had, and we spent a lot of time together. Kei and I went stargazing together, played volleyball with his older brother, and painted my walls. It’s true. We were inseparable. It didn’t bother me that he was rude, honestly. It made me laugh a lot, especially once I found out that he was just trying to make me more confident. Tsukki wanted me to be able to stand up for myself, and I’m grateful for that. Sure, he didn’t have the best methods for it, but it worked a little bit more every time.<br/>
Occasionally, he would go too far. I would cry, and I hated it when it happened because he looked so scared. It was like he thought he’d broken me. When things like this happened, he would leave me be for a few days, and bring me flowers each day that passed. Never in person, but he’d leave them at my door. The third time it happened, I started pressing one flower of each bouquet that he gave me. I started filling a journal with the pressed flowers, and I showed it to him after the first ones were in there. When he saw them, he looked rather scared. He asked, “Are you going to use this against me?” To which I said, “No, silly! I love flowers!”<br/>
Soon, he began giving me more and more of them, even when we were on the greatest terms. On sick days, vacations, and birthdays. One day, he just started giving them to me once a week. I’m not sure if he knew what they meant, because he gave me a lot of red tulips, yellow pansies,honeysuckles, and cornflowers. I got overwhelmed when I saw all of them in my journal. Tsukki probably didn’t mean any of what the flowers conveyed, but I started to slowly fall for him. My journal filled quickly, and I wrote out pages and pages of confessions to him. I never thought about showing those to him, though. Because I thought there would be no way he’d like someone like me. </p><p>Kei and I soon went into our last year of junior high. Around this time, we were both really attached to the other. It was rare to see us apart, but, when people did, they came after me. They liked to jostle me around, and it didn’t bother me as much. I was stronger than I used to be, physically. But, to anyone besides Tsukki, I was still the same wimpy kid I used to be. I didn’t know what to do, and it didn’t really ever come up until they got hands on my journal. They took all the loose pages and read them. My confessions, my love letters to Kei. Of course, they spread them throughout the school. Some ended up in his locker.<br/>
I was embarrassed as hell. Imagine it; pouring your heart out to everyone. After that, I had a hard time facing him. It reminded me of the old days, except I didn’t get any flowers from him. Not even striped or yellow carnations. In fact, I spent that week designing a bouquet to give to him. If I was going to be outed, I wanted to try and tell him myself. Every free second I had was spent on that arrangement. Thoughts of yarrows, violets, red roses, yellow and red tulips, sorrels, and blue salvias littered my mind. My arms were sore from trimming, arranging, and rearranging these flowers. </p><p>The next time I saw him, I gave him the bouquet. It was quite impractical for me to give it to him in school, but I had no choice. Around noon, I approached him. I tried to ignore the stares in the halls as I walked to him. My hands shook as I reached out to tap his shoulder. </p><p>“Kei-kun! I have something for you…” My breath hitched when he turned to look at me. It was like he’d changed so much over the week and I didn’t know him anymore. Kei’s eyes… They were red. As if he’d been crying.<br/>
“Tadashi?” It broke my heart to hear his unsteady voice. Kei was always one to be confident and bold, no matter the situation. This was new, and I didn’t like it. So, in a blur of emotions, I held out the bouquet to him, bowing. No words needed to be said, and it was clear. Nothing I said would’ve made him feel any better.<br/>
I wasn’t unhappy with his response, either. He took the flowers from me, smiled, and took my hand. </p><p>I led him out of the hallway and into an empty classroom so we could talk . People were bound to know anyways, so it didn’t really matter to me as long as we weren’t in the open.<br/>
I looked him in the eyes for the first time, mind you he is taller than me. I tried my hardest to be patient, but I spat out my question anyway.<br/>
“Do you love me, Kei-kun?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Wild Rose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Confessions never go the way you want them to.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>there's a little bit of self=deprecation in this chapter!!! and mentions of fire and smoke, so please don't read this chapter if you are heavily disturbed by these topics! it's nothing too heavy, but i don't want to hurt anyone with this.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He paused, stepping forward. As soon as I could see, he was in front of me. There was a mess of flowers on the desk next to me, abandoned as he lifted my head by my chin. Our eyes met, anxiety flooding my body .<br/>“Tadashi, I…” Kei hesitated, his grip on me loosening. “I don’t like you like that.” My expression dropped. It was understandable. I was a little too confident. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.<br/>“Sorry, Kei-kun. I’ll leave you alone now.” </p><p>Taking the bouquet off the desk, I walked out of the classroom. As soon as I was a few halls away from him, I broke into a run. I could feel the tears starting to run, and I wanted to get as far away as I could. Of course. Kei would never see me that way, and I was stupid for thinking I could be happy with him. <br/>When I got home, I dodged my family and went to my room. Shifting through my drawers, I pulled out my shears and a lighter. White jasmine plants hung from my window, and I trimmed off a good sprig before closing my room off from everything. I let the herbs burn, glancing up at the ceiling. The aroma was strong, and the smoke spiraled above me. It scorched my hand a slight bit, but I shook it out. Cleansing was fun. It gave me an excuse to burn things that made me upset. </p><p>Heat rose to my face, burning more as tears slipped down my cheeks. No, I can’t keep crying. This is dumb. I’m dumb. I opened my bedroom door, eyes adjusting to the clearer air. Making my way to the bathroom, I sighed. “Did I really leave school because of this? Haha… How pitiful.” I guess I haven’t changed since grade school. I’m in my third year of junior high now, and I’m still running away. </p><p>“Unloveable Tadashi. Ugly Tadashi. Useless Tadashi.” My hands shook as I yanked on my shoulder-length hair. “No one cares about you. Go away, Tadashi.” Eyes shut tightly, I started cutting my hair with my gardening shears. “STUPID! WORTHLESS! UGLY!” <br/>When I opened my eyes, my hair was cut up to around my mouth. Eugh… I hated it. I slumped back against the wall, looking up when I heard the door creak open. </p><p>“Tadashi? Are you okay?” My grandmother stood in the doorway, concern laced through her expression. Slowly, I stood up and hugged her. “Yeah, Baba. I’m fine.” I could feel her smile, then frown at the choppy haircut I gave myself. “Aww, what’d you do to your hair, Tada? It looked so pretty before…” She was always very happy with my appearance, and she liked to see me dressed more feminine. I enjoyed dressing up with her, and I knew it would be a bad idea to cut my hair now.</p><p>“Sorry, Baba. I was upset and I didn’t know what I was doing.” The damage had been done. I looked over the mess of hair, swirling down the sink drain. It would probably clog up later. “I didn’t want to do it, I just did.” Grandma placed a hand on my shoulder. Her eyes met mine, and I felt pretty vulnerable, almost fragile. “Tadashi, you look beautiful either way. Why are you upset?” <br/>It sparked something within me. I smiled softly, looking down at her. “I’m not, Baba. Thank you.” She chuckled before dragging me into another room.</p>
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